Young & REbellious {{AGE 20}}

{{{WRote @ AGE 20 }}}
Where are we going? What are we really knowing?
Is it showing?
When everyday can and will go wrong
Too many people singing sad songs….
Mother's at work feeding babies that aren’t raised in church
Father’s escaping the pain into liquor rain
Like medication of cool relaxation
No sense of finding the truth
Lord save the blundered youth, who don’t know No truth
Only what is seen, but told not to do
" Do as I say, not as I portray"
Sad at a young age roamed stray, preyed,
Played and escaped my communities violence
Hid my expressions in silence
And fought back in my pen an paper
and went back "good" like a crossfader
At night analyze
To write another thought into the blank page
Letting all feelings explode like a grenade
There I felt safe

RAY CHARLES PAINTING (the process)

It still unfinished , working on the face and background

Written @ a time of uncertain w no one to trust but my daughter.

I dont believe in love anymore for a queen to be with me. 

 I only live and have love for my seed, I praise her as the most precious being.
She's my little queen, and daddy's her king,
no one can come in and change that.
though I know later in age she will be released to experience life,
and possibly be someones wife. 
Till then and after I will be her Rock, Daddy will never let her down.
grab her hand and walk her on the ocean shore,
and let her know everything will be alright,
passed every dark night will be morning to sunlight.
An it shines for her to reach, it shines for me to teach,
and enjoy the simple things like crackling sounds of leaves through the breeze.
Women have only brought pain and headache,
sex is temporary pleasure, after it, I only receive bad tempers, why didn't I know better? 
Maybe I choose insecure members?
I've dated many types, none are alike yet im never happy.
when u think U found one, U need to test it, otherwise, years later you'll regret it,
I love the female specimen but the female gives hell, can send u to jail.
Use all your money and yet not consider themselves  "greedy"
but what they receive they "deserve." 
U deserve to get your ass kicked, poured gasoline and lit, spit, fake as counterfeit,
Bitch your tongue should fall off because u never really tell the truth, you embellish it.
Save that sh*t,
U make a victim for people to feel sorry for,
and cry when your man walks out the door..
because he couldn't stand U anymore, 
Beware to those misled,
just because she gave u head and gave U a sandwich in bed, don't believe it, because you'll be disappointed when love is not what you receive it.... Silly you were deceived. 
I'll live , I'll live single...an happy
Till I'm dead, they won't catch me
And I say this laughingly
Because sometimes it's a part of life that some men have to see...

Dedicated to those that see with closed eyes...
****Realize 

Beauty is but a painted hell

A poem by one of my most favorite poets .

Beauty Is But A Painted Hell
by Thomas Campion

Beauty is but a painted hell :
        Aye me, aye me,
Shee wounds them that admire it,
Shee kils them that desire it.
        Giue her pride but fuell,
        No fire is more cruell.

Pittie from eu'ry heart is fled :
        Aye me, aye me,
Since false desire could borrow
Teares of dissembled sorrow,
        Constant vowes turn truthlesse,
        Loue cruele, Beauty ruthlesse.

Sorrow can laugh, and Fury sing :
        Aye me, aye me,
My rauing griefes discouer
I liu'd too true a louer :
        The first step to madnesse
        Is the excesse of sadnesse.

(year:1620, poem, song)

Freestyle 7/18/2008 (((THaProductz)))

Flowing off tha head from Dr.Dre Beat "forgot about Dre"

" it's only skin deep"

Is Beauty like the saying that "it's only skin deep"? 
I dont believe because, The more prettier the more they can deceive
Fake beauty always flaunted in music and tv..
...See the beauty with eyes closed
Or fail and be victim to consequence, 
be  in court like I overheard one guy say
" all this for a couple minutes of loving"
"now I owe $43,000 dollars  and something " 
Damn!  I would rather be hugging than this kind of fucking
To me Beauty is the saying "  making something out of nothing"
"making it," after many barriers confronting
Or maybe just one thing,  
As I look to the beauty of my child, that makes me smile 
Her nurtured intelligence, eyes of innocence 
God sent, that I love more than it be said 
My children, young and spirited,
With smiles so simple 
Yet the most beautiful
That can teach this vain world 
Or model, who's really just an anorexic girl 
Hurting a lot , turning to cocaine when it started with pot & found overdosed in the parking lot
At young thought without my Head
I was married once, so I guess you can say I was tricked by the serpent
Lazy, she did things only out of convenience, good riddance
But hey .. I wish u the best. "LEARN and never regret" 
24 hours in a day, damn I wish there was more, Im behind in debt
But Not in currency, but consistency of creativity
Attempt to live, live to it's truest form of quality, 
while getting my masters degree, 
But does that make you Master to my own destiny? 
Writing, just writing is calm and soothing to me....
Because it let's my mind breath
So what is beauty ? 
To that, one needs to take a closer scrutiny. 

Song I dedicate to those friends I will never See again...Well meet up again

Lyrics:
The day I found my soul, I felt it
Die inside of me, yeah.
So I turn to you; life is
Like that, you know.

I have your face
In a photo in high school,
When you were alive,
But thats all I have.
And I cant remember
Who I was myself, then.
And it doesnt help;
Still I look to you as a friend
To tell me:

Who we are now, who we are.
It's who we are now, who we are.
Where does time go now,
On a wake for young souls?
You tell me,
Who we are now, who we are.
Where does time go now,
On a wake for young souls?

Like a lullaby, you sing:
Oh, ooo. Oh, ooo. Oh, ooo, ooo.

Well, the wind that blows...
It's blowing colder.
And the child that grows...
Shes growing older.
And the friends we've known,
Theyll turn a shoulder.
The friends we know,
They're growing colder, so...

It's who we are now, who we are.
It's who we are now, who we are.
Where does time go now,
On a wake for young souls?
You tell me,
Who we are now, who we are.
It's who we are now, who we are.
Woah, woah,
On a wake for young souls.

Wheres my soul? Where's my soul? Where's my soul?

Where's my soul?

Where's my soul?

Cycle of the moon brings blood to the woman,
And the blood of the woman brings birth of a child;
Child grow up, he forget himself and
Birth of a child comes someplace wild.
Even grey days beat the shade to wean,
Unbodied, unsouled, unheard, unseen.
Let the gift be grown in the time to call our own;
Let the gift be sewn, for the window's closing.
Truth is natural like the wind that blows;
Follow it's direction, no matter where it goes.
So it shall be: the earth, and the sea.
Let the truth blow like a hurricane through me.

Oh, oo. Oh, oo. Oh, oo, ooo.

If Ive been cold,
If Ive spoken in anger
To have been bold,
Forgive me. You know, I
Dont see your mother,
Not like before,
Though she hasnt forgotten...
She doesnt like to be reminded anymore.
And Annie got married it:
It didnt come with out tears.
Like the day you died:
I have nothing for these years, so,

It's who we are now, who we are.
It's who we are now, who we are.
Where does time go now
On a wake for young souls, now?
It's who we are now, who we are.
It's who we are now, who we are.
Woah, woah,
On a wake for young souls.

Other things, you know, are gonna
Fall away from me
Like a grain of sand
Slips through a good friend's hand