Guide for these eyes

Worries are created by those that don’t live
Don give in, or at sight you might witness end
…before a begin…
Time in my life I cannot comprehend
I depend only on my self
But at times, even myself is bad for health
Work wirth the cards that are dealt
In Pain, im a black belt
I see death and torture everyday, clock in to witness
And for this get paid
As an RN, Gaylord Fakker
To work with peoples pain and dismay
And was displayed the 6 month dead body of my son
To the sight , I was never trained
Adultery I was blamed, carry the burden of shame
But who is to blame?
The fatherless child?, the street guided individual
That depended on music for the guide
And still I know no right
But what is given to my eyes

This is dedicated to my old friends who moved on, passed on and get on:

Night is dark, all is silence
Can we relate, dont hate im honest
bring your worries an further more we escalate by our
stories. Knowing more than we should, were homeys
from the old hood, doing what was taught to be down,
get a clown, seeking strolling the town. I wasn't proud,
but I wont forget, what I left
We never found a pathway, you want a payday,
I want to be recognized because people like me need fame
to make a change. But will they change?
Living isn't what we yearn but earn
How my head spins an heart beats,
when will it end? And whats next to meet?
Darkness is a treat worth while. By this moonlight
I notice a smile.
All is sleeping, while im walking the streets tripping,
glancing up notice to the stars glitterring.
Everything that was taught I filtered in.

1996 WriTiNg

Secret Admirer

You are …….
You are what my eyes see now
Yesterday was troubled in paths, embodied with cries and laughs
I was thinking, perhaps, we can have a chat
A morning breakfast in telling of our past,
Maybe a bloomed noon picnic in grass, with a rose on top of the toast
It’s Plucked for you, to tickle your toes
Who knows? If ask perhaps you wont go
Deserted I’ll be alone to walk the road w/ such a cold soul
So search I roam.
Stare to a cloud, where out thou?
Embellish your cheers; taste your tears, perhaps can I be allowed?
I notice only you in a large crowd
Grab my hand; look to me to see …im just a man,
Friend with a pen that can write your name
a thousand times and over again
Such beauty discovered, look to your face and wonder,
But how these words my tongue can’t utter
Perhaps your heart belongs to another
Why bother, for I don’t have nothing to offer
I shouldn’t dare, probably don’t even compare…
I’ll just watch. …while you talk
I’ll just watch, stare as you walk …..away
In dismay I ache in stray
I was thinking, perhaps. …maybe …one day

PERHAPS (secret admire)(Heidi, before I got to know her)

MUSE

What can be left of my muse? All hailed in doom
Sullen mood while watching my love treat me crude
I bid adieu, bandage covers the thorn in my heart bruised
Where is my muse? Staring at the worlds stage formed
clay animated, play, serenated in tune
I under the moon may one day be rehearsed my written verse
frail acts from an accomplished loon
Oh so deserted me astray, kids no longer play
Why do I still crave? I see no change ..... I see no fame,
pain, sedated, im heavenly faded
How many can relate?
The fate of being desolate, cigarette breath, slowly taking steps
Blessed in this place of mess

To be Alive

Riding the streets, inscribing poems on trees of a leave's.
Breath with a need, puff nicotine, my world of greed
Lust to the heaves I bleed.
Wind of my wings, sin
I enter....
The lair of despair, eyes of unaware to the mirror I stare
Close my eyes, are you there?
Blind to the times, high, immortal in the mind,
the sky of divine, aveculous if I was to hide.
Visine of times, am I to live ... to die?
Ask to be replied; don't want to be a lie......

To: Aaliyah (*8/2001)

The strangest thing of awe/ Last time I thought
YOur style I loved to watch
now it forever haunts/HOw can ones fate be seen?...
How CAN ones fate be seen?
You built yourself in a world of music
Have me amused by your such sweet tunes as I in silent stare at you? I bid adieu and throw a tear at the moon
Pain let it rain and wave at the world as a typhoon/HArd to say but
today I write at my best
But regret it’s not much to express how I feel at this moment of breath
Console my sorrow with a deep swallow
I will find myself, seek and look for you ..tomorrow
I am laid on leaves; hush is the winds breeze shivering my knees/while I think what she thinks laid asleep, this precious beautiful queen.

Silent Evening

Silent evening under the moon
Crickets singing
Our conversation puts me in a good mood
In this view my eyes drift looking at you.
Medication as you relax my anxious nerves
offer some words of my poetic verse.....
It's only for your ear my dear
Beauty like yours can't be reflected in a mirror,
radiance crumbling men to fear
I insist to poison me from those lips
Unable to resist..., the kiss of smoothie chocolate chip.
Adored in our caress, feeling the winds flesh
hovered by the divine entrapped night,
seeing your eyes by this faint light
Such an amored sight, the pleasure has been all mine
Lost in the sense of time..........
Pardon..,
.. I ache for in a few days I will be away
many years of roam, alone to carry dismay
Only now whispering your name, and picturing yesterday
Im holding your picture near,
Calling only to tell you,
im still here.
Such are my words I addressed in blur
Yet one thing is for sure
were young and witness experience
By years, so one shouldn't shed a tear
when all darkness comes a near
The World can bring you pain, but I come sincere.