..K..

Hey Mami, what cha doing tonight?
Mabuhi, G.bless and long life
glad not to be with ex-wife
A time of stress, argue & fight
I'm finally living it right
and just wanna say I got u in sight
soo appetizing I want to bite, kiss,
recite poetry to miss,
and expose you to my thoughts of devilish
your smile is cool
like an Ice cube it keeps me tranquil
sometimes your name weighs heavy on my brain like an anvil
looking at you in your orange dress
sparks a fire of desire
in which I will cool down tonight with a cold shower
& tell her I like her on a note with chocolate & flowers
When alonr I kiss over 500 times on her neck
while she slaps my hands keeping me in check
" hands to yourself!"
my mind and eyes say " what the hell?"
And by my actions she can tell,
Damn I must have done something dumb, plus it's 4 in the morning,
So to sleep, I might as well....
by the way, it was cool to puff a little
weed, definitely been a long time for me
20 minutes later it gave me munchies
While feeling High, we took a taxi to LaLive
we ate sushi & drank wine
temporary solace of divine
On your bday, It was your day,
eating at restaurant at 21st floor restaurant,
overlooking the city
in all it's splendor and gritty
and by the way did I mention
" you look way more than pretty?"
And I calm & cool
Smooth & charmin, like Dean Martin
After the meal with cool view
"what's next" u said
I say "let's shoot pool!"
no car so taxi again taken to seven grand bar,
mojitos and rum n coke ordered
the last dude I played pool
I murdered,
acting like Tom cruise "On the color of money,"
on my pool shark skills,
and yes I got the tongue to pay the bills,
drinking as if I had gills.
Listening to the live band, "we chilled"
But in my mind, I anticipate,
The kiss from my date
"look babe isn't the singer great"
K said
I say " yea, she put soul to it"
you reply " she's white,"
if she was, I said " she has a bad tan,
overcooked medium, and slightly looking like a man."
But to her music I'm a fan
" cmon follow me, hey ma'am loved your singing voice what's your nationality?"
she said black and cherokee,
I looked at K and said "haha now you owe me."
she smiled as she left to the Bathroom briefly....
Her perfume scent drugging me
anyways, silence is all I heard in the crowd as K in her orange skirt approached my way in seductive walk, without any touch or talk, she gave me pleasurable pain, & grabbed my shirt
My hands touched over the "lump" part of the skirt, each kiss like a sensual flirt ..Lol, and yes it did work
wanting to proceed more than centimeter, i want like an inch.
eyes Never flynch cuz i didn't want to miss, this miss
Even while writting this , I cannot describe this...
So I'll end the page, with the memory stained, a friendship taking off like a plane, afar from which it came...
that tomorrow will bring a new day ;)

To my Son MANUEL J. Origel 7/31/2007

Lay me cold, watch in stand still the silence
the beat of my poor child in his mother's womb
for him to be born is to sleep in a tomb
We will see you soon, when Daddy and Mommy
only wanted to Love and Protect you
Even before we met, all my life ive been in love with you
I only wanted to watch as the years passed to guide you
and at night sing songs to you
watch when you took your first step, wep and when
you reached "you terrible two"
Now Daddy is the one to Weep, never to watch your first step
and only wake to see my son's last breath
A climax of pain, close to my own death
because I only wanted the best
No suffering, no pain, no surgeries, no tests
my son is a human not an experiment
and my son MANUEL I will bury you, you will
you will lay in your tomb with the pictures of your
family that dearly loves you
So after, when the time when I pass and reach the heavens gates
& meet my fate
I will be seen walking the clouds
seeing people living; living their own eternal life now
beyond being earthbound
because we reached heaven, were years are only seconds
and as I walk, passing the people who on earth died
I see the world with my new eyes...A child playing
with other kids,
smiling at the fun of being kids
....WHen one looks at me, slants his head slightly
and brings out a picture from his pocket
and stares at it staringly
..AND runs and Yells to me, hugs and kisses me
Because, because he found his DADDY

MANUEL JESUS ORIGEL (6months old)
DAddy loves you (7/31/2007)

Before Angelina was born (written 2005)

I don't even know if my love is the greatest
but your birth will be the peak of pleasure
ever witnessed by my 5 Senses
Though through the pregnancy it was stressful
and many possible complications could of occurred
I prary and thank God to shelter with his wings for
the coming arrival of my little girl
My own personal living angel in this world
Ive made many mistakes in my pathway
and things I wanted to deter or change
But Angelina, my darling you are the surest thing
I know, that was ever made
Happiness is to watch you play
the words "DADA" moistens me into clay
scratches on your leg will bring me
the strongest pain,
Ill love and guide you mama, just hold my hand
It is the Loveliest quality known to man,
at which if your not a father, then you wouldn't understand
If happiness has an optimum, This is it,
wifey(NOw B-MOmma)
couldn't have given me no greater gift
A baby, the angels hand picked from the heavens
to Teach Daddy a lesson
To these words stands as my reigned confession

Just wanted to say

It’s the touch, that makes me blush,
It’s the scent of the feline, which has it’s place in divine
Your kiss tremble  my lips in feverish.
Slient beauty, when I stare at you with your closed eyelids
Can’t help but think these thoughts devilish
Your body of petite such an exquisite specimen
Having me speak words of awe  that which no one can comprehend
Calm myself from the anxiety, I count to ten
Laid myself close to you & hold your hand
She mummerly spoke, as she awoke,
She  held me close, we embraced under the morning light glow,
Paging her at times, just to  say “hello”.
When we held vacancy in cupid’s room of love
We are intwined in one but not surely by our mere tongues
The scent of your perfume has me drugged
I  would unveil my jacket if ever to step in a pool of mud
At home, hearing you moan as I massage you woes
While tickling your toes, haha
Her laughter inks passion in me to write
We shouldn’t wonder life, nor ask why or how
Let us live for now
God bless, like Moses from the Nile,
smile, for tomorrow will have it’s own trial
Just wanted to say,
when one’s not looking a treasure is found.

The Rave 2000 ( write at work after listening to eazy e song)

Last night I wanna mis-behave, so I went to a rave
Women everywhere blurring my brain
Flaunting their blossomed bodies,
in a psychotic, erotic calling
quit the stalling, as I now eves dropping
to the ….Bosoms sprawling
shit I couldn’t contain no more watching
as jigglies were flaunting
for they opened up the devils gate,
my pulse rate accelerate, as Miss Lady approached me
rubbing my leg, grooves from her fingers touch made me blush
soothed, entwined was the engagement of my lips welcoming her tongue
her kiss was the sense of fine wine, aged during the reign of kings
I must have been in dreams, as she rode with me this evening
Hours from now hovering, will be the blue ceiling………
So in this presence of this dark bliss, our bodies are revealed
Temperature was moist and humid
As I was to give in to this sin
I felt her thigh close to my skin
Her neck I passionately kissed
While dirty words were being hissed
My hands walked down to the hips
U she squeezed a tighter grip
My fingers trickled slowly and lowly did they slip
There it went, there it went,
I think this is it
SHIiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!
It was a DICK!!!!
I jumped skipped did a flip, closed line the bitch
and escaped out of her providence
This is the haunting remembrance of the last time I try to
Pick up a girl from Hollywood’s garden

(3-20-2000) Working graveyard @ Rite aid warehouse.

Early morning drive...

early morning drive 
to Cal hospital, 1.5 mile away from la live
 early morning drive, 
eyes tired, lack of sleep I guess 
playing jams from my smooth & cool playlist
I sigh, sigh as I drive
and think maybe I drink too much?
and messed up on my  wife a bunch
because I lust
which only rotted the relationship to rust with taste of disgust, 
leading her to 2 attempted suicides, 2 DUI 's, debt pilling up so high, and a moment where she drove the armada truck with us like a scene from "vannilla  sky"
I'm glad I made it out alive!
I'm glad she didn't hit no one that was around but a month later crashed into the house and brought part of the walls and garage down. 
and still she pointed the finger at me, the cause because of my infidelity, and facade perception she had of me
so we tried marriage therapy..., and then individually, by us seeking answers we found the impurity and insecurity
there was no future to where we were chasing...,
there was no erasing, reality was my awakening
that I sware I cried at many times 
gotten drunk and stared to the sky for a sign 
& read daily qoutes from my astrological sign,
because I was blind ... 
As one grows, all they know is love is 
 a fairytale With a horse and carriage, loving life and support everyone especially parents, 
but instead thorns punctured my heart, 
it bled. 
This marriage left for dead at the moment of " I Do," because" I didn't" to my insecure wife, of previous marriage that didn't survive, and with 4 kids, and still at 30 hadn't begun life.  
She went wild and at my worst I smiled, 
smiled because we had created the most heavenly child
that God placed in front of me, to tame me and so looking into her eyes 
I see me, I see what dreams ought to be, my little princess and queen to be 
 Found my Epiphany, from something so pure, and in it's truest sense of simplicity
We had failed what was once a team, but I will never lose 
what it means to me, 
Life is an experience and 
must learn from it with patience and guidance, 
without love you go guideless,
and there will be no sense of me 
in writting this,
in a morning like this
while the last tear I finally dry,
I dry them and am at peace of mind...
because without searching, I did find...
today!!
That I see with the open eyes
while I drive.... 

Thorns

Thorns puncture my heart*
I bleed, yet look to you drift ....dream
Feel I am king. Yet it is a paradise in my eyes that are blind
For what I write, is it right?
I must let you know, even if you let me go
I would never know, if it was fate that stood looked to my face
Something I couldn't wait... I anticipate, yet
for the moment I was hoping...
Maybe were two souls searching ...uncertain
Has it ever been said,"The way you look can only be read in books?"
The way you walk in a room, a passion im consumed, yet
witness from a distant view
A tear drops, my heart stops,
in awe as I watch when you pass by
I cannot lie, but I walk, for I cannot talk
Your name haunts, in silence by the taunts
By your denial, I smile
Atleast my words were spoken, to what I couldn't utter in the open
Know I could tell you ... im hoping...

MAKALA (1998) back in military