Guide for these eyes

Worries are created by those that don’t live
Don give in, or at sight you might witness end
…before a begin…
Time in my life I cannot comprehend
I depend only on my self
But at times, even myself is bad for health
Work wirth the cards that are dealt
In Pain, im a black belt
I see death and torture everyday, clock in to witness
And for this get paid
As an RN, Gaylord Fakker
To work with peoples pain and dismay
And was displayed the 6 month dead body of my son
To the sight , I was never trained
Adultery I was blamed, carry the burden of shame
But who is to blame?
The fatherless child?, the street guided individual
That depended on music for the guide
And still I know no right
But what is given to my eyes

This is dedicated to my old friends who moved on, passed on and get on:

Night is dark, all is silence
Can we relate, dont hate im honest
bring your worries an further more we escalate by our
stories. Knowing more than we should, were homeys
from the old hood, doing what was taught to be down,
get a clown, seeking strolling the town. I wasn't proud,
but I wont forget, what I left
We never found a pathway, you want a payday,
I want to be recognized because people like me need fame
to make a change. But will they change?
Living isn't what we yearn but earn
How my head spins an heart beats,
when will it end? And whats next to meet?
Darkness is a treat worth while. By this moonlight
I notice a smile.
All is sleeping, while im walking the streets tripping,
glancing up notice to the stars glitterring.
Everything that was taught I filtered in.

1996 WriTiNg

Secret Admirer

You are …….
You are what my eyes see now
Yesterday was troubled in paths, embodied with cries and laughs
I was thinking, perhaps, we can have a chat
A morning breakfast in telling of our past,
Maybe a bloomed noon picnic in grass, with a rose on top of the toast
It’s Plucked for you, to tickle your toes
Who knows? If ask perhaps you wont go
Deserted I’ll be alone to walk the road w/ such a cold soul
So search I roam.
Stare to a cloud, where out thou?
Embellish your cheers; taste your tears, perhaps can I be allowed?
I notice only you in a large crowd
Grab my hand; look to me to see …im just a man,
Friend with a pen that can write your name
a thousand times and over again
Such beauty discovered, look to your face and wonder,
But how these words my tongue can’t utter
Perhaps your heart belongs to another
Why bother, for I don’t have nothing to offer
I shouldn’t dare, probably don’t even compare…
I’ll just watch. …while you talk
I’ll just watch, stare as you walk …..away
In dismay I ache in stray
I was thinking, perhaps. …maybe …one day

PERHAPS (secret admire)(Heidi, before I got to know her)

MUSE

What can be left of my muse? All hailed in doom
Sullen mood while watching my love treat me crude
I bid adieu, bandage covers the thorn in my heart bruised
Where is my muse? Staring at the worlds stage formed
clay animated, play, serenated in tune
I under the moon may one day be rehearsed my written verse
frail acts from an accomplished loon
Oh so deserted me astray, kids no longer play
Why do I still crave? I see no change ..... I see no fame,
pain, sedated, im heavenly faded
How many can relate?
The fate of being desolate, cigarette breath, slowly taking steps
Blessed in this place of mess

To be Alive

Riding the streets, inscribing poems on trees of a leave's.
Breath with a need, puff nicotine, my world of greed
Lust to the heaves I bleed.
Wind of my wings, sin
I enter....
The lair of despair, eyes of unaware to the mirror I stare
Close my eyes, are you there?
Blind to the times, high, immortal in the mind,
the sky of divine, aveculous if I was to hide.
Visine of times, am I to live ... to die?
Ask to be replied; don't want to be a lie......

To: Aaliyah (*8/2001)

The strangest thing of awe/ Last time I thought
YOur style I loved to watch
now it forever haunts/HOw can ones fate be seen?...
How CAN ones fate be seen?
You built yourself in a world of music
Have me amused by your such sweet tunes as I in silent stare at you? I bid adieu and throw a tear at the moon
Pain let it rain and wave at the world as a typhoon/HArd to say but
today I write at my best
But regret it’s not much to express how I feel at this moment of breath
Console my sorrow with a deep swallow
I will find myself, seek and look for you ..tomorrow
I am laid on leaves; hush is the winds breeze shivering my knees/while I think what she thinks laid asleep, this precious beautiful queen.

Silent Evening

Silent evening under the moon
Crickets singing
Our conversation puts me in a good mood
In this view my eyes drift looking at you.
Medication as you relax my anxious nerves
offer some words of my poetic verse.....
It's only for your ear my dear
Beauty like yours can't be reflected in a mirror,
radiance crumbling men to fear
I insist to poison me from those lips
Unable to resist..., the kiss of smoothie chocolate chip.
Adored in our caress, feeling the winds flesh
hovered by the divine entrapped night,
seeing your eyes by this faint light
Such an amored sight, the pleasure has been all mine
Lost in the sense of time..........
Pardon..,
.. I ache for in a few days I will be away
many years of roam, alone to carry dismay
Only now whispering your name, and picturing yesterday
Im holding your picture near,
Calling only to tell you,
im still here.
Such are my words I addressed in blur
Yet one thing is for sure
were young and witness experience
By years, so one shouldn't shed a tear
when all darkness comes a near
The World can bring you pain, but I come sincere.

7/16/01 dedicated to BOB MARLEY

I walk without out a limp, I speak without a shiver
I talk without these lips, so here the voice I deliver:

Cross my roads with thorns
Bury my rage deep into the ground
and a alas no one can mourn
because there was no more sound
Chant the eruption of fate
Death for us has to wait
keep up, keep up living
Search for a meaning, to find what im seeking
to Lord I am kneeling
for he can bandage me in healing
How can we judge when we aren't worthy
for were I live it is crippled in dirty?
fear not the man that rise upon
Fear the God that waves his wand
shelters those from harm
Hear the voice that teach the youth
Listen to the words that speak the truth

lust (2001)

For the passion of bliss
I give you a kiss
Come with me, I touch your hips
& loosen up your girdle
plop your nipples to my tongue
lick it like ice cream under the searing sun
Embrace in a most majestic caress
Love it when you slowly undress
Reveal, giving me a teasing feel
O’ how the tension builds... at night
Spread them high,
your legs like wings by my side
all heard is screams like
your approaching death when I ride.
Time for us to fly, real high!
There we are, Bare-naked
Bodies shaking, neighbors awaken
By the noise.
Live and moist is our pores
We fuck some more, as the neighbors we ignore
So many pleasures coming from this
Erotic chore.
You yearned for more,
but I had already walked out the door
Calling me a man whore
While I left all the sheets torn
and your body sore.

love letter (6/2001)

I write her a love letter
knitted with my words of sway like a sweater
though he treats her better
It is shown; I am one not to forget her
The praise I unveil, and O' how she is revealed
Such beauty in its real
My senses have been killed, trapped emotion
staring at her in still
He drives her in his golden carriage
While no jewels or fortune are seen on me, it is apparent
He treats her better
As I without these words say I won’t ever forget her
Only wish I could tell her........
The vivid sight of our last night, guided me immoral
though it felt right
I pleaded the heavens, an begged she wouldn't tangle
with such an ungrateful menace,
Yet grief was my given penance
He wrapped her in a coat of mink
and dare gave me a wink, as he
displayed her as an ornament.
She rode away... away she gave me pain
sorrow engaged to my lament
Though this love I will cherish forever
I guess....He treats her better....

THe rave (3/20/2000) working graveyard

Last night I wanna mis-behave, so I went to a rave
Women everywhere blurring my brain
Flaunting their blossomed bodies,
in a psychotic, erotic calling
quit the stalling, as I now eves dropping
to the ….Bosoms sprawling
shit I couldn’t contain no more watching
as jigglies were flaunting
for they opened up the devils gate,
my pulse rate accelerate, as Miss Lady approached me
rubbing my leg, grooves from her fingers touch made me blush
soothed, entwined was the engagement of my lips welcoming her tongue
her kiss was the sense of fine wine, aged during the reign of kings
I must have been in dreams, as she rode with me this evening
Hours from now hovering, will be the blue ceiling………
So in this presence of this dark bliss, our bodies are revealed
Temperature was moist and humid
As I was to give in to this sin
I felt her thigh close to my skin
Her neck I passionately kissed
While dirty words were being hissed
My hands walked down to the hips
U she squeezed a tighter grip
My fingers trickled slowly and lowly did they slip
There it went, there it went,
I think this is it
SHIiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!
It was a DICK!!!!
I jumped skipped did a flip and escaped out of her providence
This is the haunting remembrance of last time I tried to
Pick up a girl from Hollywood’s garden.

time wasted (2000)

Treasure my soul, help me evolve to a sane human form
Eventhough my blood feels warm, my body feels harm
My heart has been torn, yet I learn
I don’t need to say goodbye or any last words
I know ive been heard.
New chapter, the page is to be turned for new story to be wrote
In a desolate stage of my life, Roam alone on own
I don’t need to find a happy home
My blood is warm, but my heart feels cold
Because it is torn..
though I learn.
And with that I venture,
Our relationship was seen as an adventure
Were we both got injured
Lied behind my back with another
You kissed me as a blind lover
Yet through the neglect you inflicted
I drove my ache to other women’s compassion
And each one made me smile
While coming home to you in a frown
Oblivious to my rendezvous around the town
I admit though feeling like a clown,
I evened the score by drilling you the pain of mine
(don’t need to ask how or why,
im just that kind of guy) deeper into you.
Without remorse I made you hurt…hurt bad
All I heard was nag
I laugh, at what you created,
The man you now hated
It’s time to leave, time with you ..,
I just wasted….
(Dedicated to Nancy)

SileNce

Innocence is the silence...
tranquil it keeps one calm,
around the wilderness is spawned
In the memory it is hold, as yesterday is mourned
My body denies feeling warm, cold by the morning’s arrival
O' the woe! Cunning in thinking I can meet as a challenge
wave my sword to the heaven
"Damn thee he vans, you menace!"
Close world inside is my grieved sentence
I heard no sound....
No question in repentance, as blood is soiled to the ground
Cannot reveal myself to this town
hide in the shade, withered like a flower in decay
Anticipate, you do not await to get away
Your escape seen as my foreplay
Run, cry to others arms!
I can bring you charm, yet you cry
when close as if harm
You passion me in this view
I can heal those wounds
Attract a slap? As if im a loon!?
Love me lovely, that’s why I run to you
through the wilderness under the moon
A las I hear no sound, as she fell to the ground
She touched were love was not found
Watched the avail as her fingers only lingered now
Grabbed her hand, pressed to my lips
My kiss (laugh) she couldn't resist
I insist this was more than bliss!
One last taste of those lips
I dug my love to the ground
Entombed young with no tongue
Alas I heard no more sound....

AWake in smile

Cigarette to my lips, inhale
Stare to my world one day considered a myth
I ask for no glory, only to be heard,
become legendary in children’s story &
awake in smile in the morning.
Out and about to my journey, walking the bloody concrete
Demise caused their defeat, yet they smile at me,
for I have a chance to breathe.... I proceed
exiled in reality, in sleep im aroused to my dream
my head laid to the clouds without wings
Fluff one as a pillow, heard echoing taunts of chanting
Inhabit this state is what asking
Not eyes in disguise, plagued in daily lives
Speak not lies, nor am I wise, for to know it all,
is admitted less decisive of all minds
Time I cannot rewind, but be, see reflection of me elderly
Sitting reclined, looking behind to my once Athenian society
A chapter written in someone’s story

Last thoughts of the nineties

It's the thoughts that I wonder, world that’s a blunder,
which I cannot explain. It's the pain that I detain, the way I behave
which makes me one of the last to remain
My finger nails have dirt on em; it's the point that makes me imperfect
At times im lost and I forget, So much sweat when am at work,
im not a sinner but sometimes I don't go to church
Does it mean I am hailed to burn?
My body feel worn, when am alone, I can get cold,
my heart can get torn. Every 8 seconds a baby is torn,
and somebody mourns.
I don't know, one day I will
My questions will be revealed, while my ghetto kids squeal,
I try to hear. Millennium is here, people announce the end is near
But what is it im supposed to fear?
Still I try to hear.......
(Thoughts for 99)

Peering through a Window (1997)

Peering through a window, stare at a world dying slow
I see it, does anyone else know?
Maybe its a dream . Am I asleep,
but these memories be haunting me .
Try to stay awake, away from this fury,
but still the sirens singing lovely lure me
Lord do you see me ?
A young soldier on the field of dirty, we aren't worthy
Forget me not if I be buried
Troubles lost no need to worry
Lift me from my woes
Asking , does anyone anybody else know?